Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Keys are Fun

Yesterday was just awesome.

After cranking out two RPM ideas and taking the kids to their father's Jen and I spent the rest of the day just flaking out and being together and recharging our batteries.

We went to Breakfast at Sammy J’s in Salem, Nh. It's a typical little greasy spoon/ice cream store on route 97. It's cheap and it's not bad, so on the rare occasions we go out for breakfast we try to go there. The downside is that it has a small parking lot that fills up very fast. It was a good day to go though as we got a spot right in front of the door.

After breakfast it was pretty much a watch movies and flake day. We had started watching Zoolander Sunday night but didn't get very far so we went home and rolled it back a little (so that we could get back into the groove) and watched the rest. We then, obviously, spent pretty much the rest of the day talking only in Zoolander quotes.

I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

A eugoogoolizer... one who speaks at funerals

So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

You can read minds?

Male models don't think for themselves.
That's not true!
Yes it is, Derek.
Okay.

Obey my dog!

How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".

If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model.
You're goddamn right he wasn't, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were!

(this is my favorite) I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We don't think like the face and body boys... we're a different breed.


...just to name a few.

From there it was off to lunch (I sense a food/movie trend here) at Harrison's Roast Beef in... in... Andover? North Andover? Where the hell is that place? Any way, it's a little roast beef sandwich shop near Jen's office, which is also near Merrimack College. We go there on weekdays when it's possible to have lunch together. ie: When I take a vacation day and she doesn't. We even have our own table. Sort of.

Then it was back home where I finally put the universe back in order. Everything on the planet has been slightly off kilter for the last few months. The reason is simple. There existed a Kevin Smith film that I had not seen. Now I have seen it. All is right again.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno is not Kevin Smith's best movie. It is however one funny flick. We were laughing our asses off from start to finish. It is also possibly the only movie ever made that successfully manages to bridge the gap between chick flick (which it is) and hardcore porn (which it is about).

Two words: Freakin' Brilliant.

Of course when you watch a Kevin Smith DVD you can't just budget yourself 90 minutes to two hours to watch the movie. You also have to spend a couple of hours watching the extras. Cut scenes, outtakes, and random other wicked funny stuff. I think we spent something like four hours on it.

After that it was time to order out dinner from Oakland Ave Pizza in Methuen, (this has turned into quite the commercial post. I should get kick backs from all three restaurants) some Family Guy and South Park, then a little quiet reading before bed.

It was just a great day.

This morning started off setting a personal record. I am up to crappy song #8 for the 2009 RPM Challenge. That's my best showing in three tries, and there are still 11 days left. I'm also still not anywhere near being done and I haven't even thought about the hard part yet. But progress is good and this is still very much a fun thing. Onward and Upward.

This morning we had a practical demonstration of the magic of Massachusetts February School Vacation week. We have two cars. We also have two key rings. We have two keys to the van, one on each ring. What we don't have is two keys to the Saturn. One key ring has one, the other key ring does not. This morning at 7:00am Jen took the van to work. I was ready to leave about 10 minutes later. I grabbed my key ring and froze... the Saturn key was on Jen's ring and Jen's ring had probably made it all the way to North Andover by then. Crud.

I called Jen's cell phone... went to voice mail. I sent her a text, no response. I went on my computer and checked google talk (another commercial right there) and she wasn't logged in.

I figured she just hadn't gotten to work yet and I'd give her a few more minutes. I answered an email and then called her again. I got the voice mail again but she beeped in while I was leaving it. She didn't call back when I called the first time because her phone was acting weird and needed to be rebooted a couple of times. She was on her way home.

She got to the house, we traded key rings, I got a couple of extra bonus kisses goodbye (which made the whole thing totally worthwhile... we should take the wrong keys more often!), and I headed off to work. I knew all along that the Saturn was almost out of gas so I had to stop on Pelham Street to fill up. I started the car to leave the gas station at 8:01am. About 45-50 minutes later than I would have liked to have left for work. I got on the highway, drove a tad on the fast side. (cough cough, just a tad) and decided to play the percentages.

I have long given up on taking the highway to work. I drive on the interstates for about 10 miles and then go back roads for about 25 more. Today, however, is the day after a three day weekend... which hopefully means a noticeable chunk of morning commuters would take today off to make it a four day weekend. Also, in Massachusetts, it is school vacation week... which hopefully means a noticeable chunk of morning commuters would take the whole week off to stay at home with the kids. It was a risk, but I decided to go all highway.

It worked. Normally that route would have taken 80-90 minutes to get me to work. Today I was sitting at my desk, punched in, at 8:45.

I love school vacation week.

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